The park bench.!

I went there often, silently walking past the strewn leaves, watching the trees sway lifelessly in haphazard circles. Those silent evenings, when the shadows of insomnia dawned upon me, when my legs got paralyzed by an overdose of obscenity, the broken bench on the far end of the park was my only shelter.

Why did I go there, I asked myself. What were the questions that impinged me so much, whose answers made me trace the lonely road to the park bench so often. And then, just as I started to close my eyes to the superfluous scenes of decadence, I was answered by the silent breeze ruffling my hair with a touch of silk. I was answered by the birds in chorus, infecting the evening air with their eternal melody.

I realized the unfortunate dilemma I was in. I missed something, someone. The emptiness all around me screamed like an unleashed beast, and so there I was, clutching the ends of a tilted bench, struggling to make my life straight.

For the long hours that I spent on the park bench, I got a feeling that someone is watching me from miles apart. Someone special, someone who was a very close friend and a priceless
soul mate. I looked up at the moon, shining with an abeyant glow, and thought about her. A portrait so flawless, a beauty so serene. Why was she so far away from me? Why did it have to be this way, I thought. But the feelings of endearment appeared to blur in a hurricane of compulsion.

Tired by the third degree of emotional torture every time, I rise and start walking back on the dark aisle, when suddenly, the encumbering thought hits me like a tracer bullet. Life is difficult, I know it is, but without her, it is impossible. I miss her, I miss that special one.
I miss the pancakes in her kitchen, I miss the cups of coffee she brewed up to keep me awake while studying, I miss her divine touch on my forehead, I miss everything about her a lot.
Yes, I miss my dear mother a lot……..

Speed of thoughts.!

The mind is a racecourse, lined with a crowd of dismantled spectators, each pumping with an abrading pressure of expectation within. The grass fades in a torment of anxiety, fences crumple under the emotional juggernauts, and running around in the track of ambition are horses of our thoughts, thumping the ground with the exuberance of hope.

There’s a busy street inside my head, with a cacophony of wild thoughts racing up and down. There’s so much to think, so much to realize, every nerve pounds with a frantic expression of pain.
What are these thoughts all about, except for a boulevard of broken dreams and few pinnacles of delirium? Running around like animals in an abattoir, is this the only proximity we have with ourselves?

My mind throbs with the aberrant thumping of these thoughts, my brain cries to abjure the malignant resurrection of emotions, but little as we could do to tame the laws of nature, there is certainly no way to abscond from the manacles of oblivion. Worries come and go in the debris of uncertainty, leaving us all only to fiddle with a cataleptic paradox.

Only sometimes, on a silent drizzling night, I sit on the window sill, sipping away at the beverage of contemplation, thinking hard about the conspiracies of my mind. I wish I could give words to my thoughts, I wish if ever the puppets of my imagination could dance on the floor of reality, but the fast moving thoughts seem to slow down the vehicle of introspection in me. I sit there for hours, feeling the gentle splashes of rain on my face and the cold night breeze ruffling my hair, but the answers appear to be dizzy as always, hidden away behind a dark cloud of hysteria.

The journey that I’m traveling, the journey of following my thoughts, is tiring me like a corpse. One moment, I’m in the meadows, chasing the colorful butterflies of joy, and the next moment takes me to a world full of animosity. The race between my thoughts is getting fierce with each passing day, and I couldn’t hold on to the halter of my horse anymore.

Is it always going to be this way, I ask myself. Are the shadows of obscurity going to haunt me like a year-long nightmare forever?
I close my eyes in search of stability, but all I see is an arena of abhorrence.
And then, the night of mental Olympiad ends there. I shut the window and turn towards my bed, hoping to sleep off a peaceful night.
And just when my dreams start to take me down a long lost memory lane, I suddenly realize that the intense speed of thoughts has taken me far, far away from the life I desired…..

Sweet lies.!

I sit aloof, thinking deeply about the intricacies of life, only to discover the grave truth of pain and treachery in every step of it. I hate it to be this way, I hate to be a part of the brutal side of humanity, yet all I can do is sit back and be its victim. Peace of heart is all I dream of, peace of mind is all I crave for, but the road to peace has so many potholes on it, even the annotations of strength are shaken to disparity.

Life is too preoccupied, with dreams in the line of fire and ambitions at gunpoint. And here we are, surviving every minute of it, trying in vane to see through the camouflage of deception. The only way to shield the obnoxious feelings of delinquency is to be alone, far, far away from the crowd of incognitos. I have a reason to be in love with solitude, and the reason, though unfortunate, is perfectly in view of deferment.

The question we always keep asking is, do we ever get all that we desire?

But the question which we should try to answer is, do we really deserve all that we desire?

A small act of subterfuge annihilates all our feelings, a subtle pain of departure sucks the life out of us, but is it really worth losing our spirituality to a series of trifle misunderstandings? Is it smart to feel secured living in a house of cards, knowing that an eventual storm of dejection is on its way to bring it down?

Life has never promised us anything, nor has god. But people have.

Some said they will never leave us-lie!

Some said they will love us till death-lie!

Some said we are most special-lie!

Some said they’ll be with us forever-lie!

But then, life is made of such sweet lies. All that matters is how we face the time when we finally realize that these are just lies. We may ask, “Wouldn’t life be much better without them?”

But in reality, the times we lived on those lies were the only times we lived…..